Yom Kip-cure

Last year around this time – in the Gregorian calendar that is – I was just waking up in the hospital. I had spent about three weeks being essentially unconscious lying in a potpourri of kickass beds. I write 'essentially' because I know there were certainly times I was conscious, but I was very much unaware of my surroundings, what was happening to me, and the general passage of time. I recall hearing doctors saying derivatives of the phrase “life-threatening” quite often. I’m sure they were attempting to explain the extremely rare blood disease I had to either me or my family. A disease called non familial Hemophagocytic lymphohistiocytosis (HLH) basically killed off my red blood cells, effectively removing my body’s oxygen transport system.

Spending the next few months learning how to walk, remembering how my handwriting works, and dealing with the overwhelming nature of the world outside a hospital room was difficult; but I was presented with a challenge I was ready to undertake. I was lucky enough to not have to worry (too much) about medical expenses or my own cost of living as I transformed from lying on my parents couch in a daze all day to being able to walk down their street on my own. Stairs were difficult and showers were dangerous. As I was beginning to feel more like a regular human, and as my doctor appointments were dwindling to three a week, I discovered I had lymphoma. Ultimately it really wasn’t too troublesome in comparison - and I do not mean this to demean anyone who has had any form of cancer. Simply the combination of me catching it early and having just survived one of the rarest blood diseases out there put my stage 1 diffuse large B-cell non Hodgkin's lymphoma fairly low on the danger list and it truly didn’t impact me mentally that much. I did however take a big hit from the resulting chemotherapy, radiation, and mix of other horribly timed illnesses I contracted in the ensuing months. Only recently have I been feeling like myself – being able to jump (an average white-man’s jump height), able to run and write, think clearly and be happy.

Throughout this past year, I lost my best friend, two jobs, and a huge gap in my memory. I’ve gained strength (both physical and mental), a new-found love and appreciation for family and caring friends, a full medicine cabinet, and a perspective few people have on the universe. Never have I believed in God, but the traditions, community, and culture that religion brings to our lives is unequaled. As this season of the Jewish high holidays comes to a close, I want to take the time to thank you for your support and care, your texts and cookies, medicines and visits, late night phone calls and early morning emails, cute dog pictures and funny puns, weekly dinners and random gift baskets, favorites and likes. I’d like to thank you for your love.

I don’t normally share much about myself, but I’ve learned that doing so is an important half of every friendship. And to paraphrase a Ron Swanson quote, I’m not here to half-ass life, I’m here to full-ass it. So here I am sharing things about me, but I aim to find a happy medium with those about whom I care and those who care about me. Life is odd, we don’t have to be grateful for it, but might as well take advantage of the opportunities presented.

Good Yom Tov, keep in touch.