Hey there Quinny did you have fun while I was out?
I bet you licked yourself, yeah without a doubt!
Did you sleep the whole time?
Did you bark at some cars?
Were you able to look outside at the stars?
Were you waiting for me?
Were you hoping for Todd?
Do you want to borrow a siddur so you can pray to God?

Sometimes I sing to Quinn (the dog) when I get home.

Love wins

This is my way of the commonly stated "This is a great victory, but the fight is far from over."

Two Brits having a drug deal:
"Aye, do you have the money?"
"Yeah! Do you got the drugs?" (I don't really know what happens in drug deals.)
"'ere they are. Do you- WAIT WHAT'S UP WITH THIS COPPER RIGHT 'ERE?!"
"Oh... you mean this copper right 'ere? Oy, mate. I'm sorry, did you prefer brass? or... "



BECAUSE THAT ACCENT CALLS POLICE OFFICERS "COPPERS" AND COPPER IS A TYPE OF METAL LIKE BRASS. DO YOU GET IT?

I used to Think that by the time I got cancer we'd be looking back at how barbaric the treatment for it used to be. Chemo and radiation - "let's just kill everything and hope the bad stuff dies too." Boy was I wrong.

Talmud Torah Lesson Plan: Think Critically and Question all the crap you've been taught over the last 15 years.

iPad Thai

Not as tasty as you might expect...

Computer Technician in Real World

Julia: Hey Greg, can you help me get this box of cereal?
Greg: Have you tried getting it yourself?
Julia: Yeah, I'm too short. It's on the top shelf.
Greg: Well, have you tried using a step ladder?
Julia: I don't remember where it is, can't you just get it for me?
Greg: Do a search for it.
Julia: Where do I look? Greg, the cereal is easily within your reach, can't you just get it for me?
Greg: No, I want you to learn how to do it so I won't have to help you next time. Search the whole house, it shouldn't take long.
Julia: I'm not even sure we still have the little ladder, I think we sold it at the yard sale! This is ridiculous, I'm going for a walk.


Julia: I found it. You must have put it in the garage.
Greg: Good, now use it to access the cereal.
Julia: Yeah, I got it, no thanks to you.

Julia: ... Can you open it for me? I always get paper cuts.
Greg: Do you have the box of cereal in front of you?
Julia: Yes, duh.
Greg: Slide your forefinger under the corner of the-
Julia: Shut up, I'll get scissors.

... Where are the scissors?


Look on your desktop. If they aren't there, go to the control panel.
-The circuit breaker?